Ross is the "Rossatron." I am the "Procrastinatron." Seriously, I've known your birthday was coming for ages because, well, one's birthday really doesn't change from day to day, but I've been really lax on doing anything for you. Maybe I'm just uncreative. Maybe I'm just lazy. It's probably the latter, but regardless, I'm getting a really late start on this.
In a lot of ways it fails to combine all the sentimental things I could say. There's just... nothing I've never said. I love you, and you know as well as I do all that entails. So, instead of the sentimental I decided to capture things that make me think of you.
Because, really, what two people disagree on food more than you and I?
Cause Kate has fucking fantastic boobs
I hope this is one that needs no explanation...
Cause you're miss karaoke, and all I can think is that they look like they'd make a sexy singing group, no?
Well, honey, I hope you enjoy this. I hope your day is fantastic. 18 is a great age. You're a grown up. I love you.
(i also like how i can't write anythng more than a simple sentence)